I wonder

who will win "I want to be a Hilton". I'm not exactly sure what this show is supposed to be about and exactly what these people will win. Do they get adopted by the Hiltons? Do they get their own hotel? What? Of all the people who began the show, I like Jackaay the best. She's very genuine and she has such an open heart. I hope she wins.

But hell, seriously, I enjoy a good massage and pedicure with the best of them, but I would just HATE to live in, say, Donald Trump's apartment. All that metal. Ugh. One of the contestants just said "Who wouldn't want to live in a high rise apartment in Manhattan...?" I sure wouldn't.

I used to live near Tokyo. I have to admit I miss access to a big, bright, lively city. I used to love my commute to Tokyo, and watch the landscape change from squat houses along the Odakyu line to bright lights and 'soaring' skyscapers in Shinjuku (about the only place you'll find kinda-sorta high-rise buildings in any concentration in Tokyo). I miss all the different stuff you could do, things you could see. It was never boring. Anything you wanted to do was there. Most of it could be a one-stop shop... you could go to a department store (unlike any department stores in the US) and eat a sumptuous meal, buy gourmet groceries, view rare art in exhibitions and galleries, buy clothing, go to a movie... all in the same building. It's wild.

The biggest difference between an American city and Tokyo is the safety factor. When I was there last, it was fairly safe for anyone to walk alone down the street. You could be fairly certain that the only kind of danger one would experience is from over-eager citizens who wanted to practice their English or take a picture with you. The worst thing that ever happened to me was the occasional 'personal space encroachment' in a crowded train.

I remember walking home one night (morning) from the local jazz bar in the town where I lived. It was 3:30 am. It was dark and in my town, that meant the streets were pretty much deserted. As I precariously climbed the hill that led to the shortcut to my apartment, I heard running feet behind me, approaching quickly. My heart leapt in my chest, an unfamiliar 'fight or flight' sensation, bringing me right back to late night scares from living in the States, and completely ruining my sake buzz. I whirled around, ready to face my attacker. "Sensei! Sensei!" he gasped. "How are you?" It was one of my freshman students. He had seen me stumble down the bar stairs--he had been hanging out at the Family Mart reading magazines-- and wanted to say hello. I laughed to myself...someone should tell him that he should never run up behind an American woman in the wee hours of the morning... he could get hurt.

While it was good to be able to hit the city whenever I wanted, (much like it was when I lived outside of Chicago) I always wanted to leave eventually, to be home somewhere else. I wanted the darkness and the sound of thousands of frogs croaking in the rice paddy behind my apartment. That is, until 5:20 every morning when the first Odakyu train would roll through. Then it was another day, all over again.

I can't imagine, and don't think I'd like, living in the city, at least not for very long. The winner of "I want to be a Hilton" gets an apartment in New York, diamonds, a trip to Europe, subscriptions and memberships to opera and museums... for a year. Oh, and $200,000 for pocket money. Among other things.

So, Jackaay didn't win. But I think she won ultimately, in just having the experience. I think she now knows she can go beyond what she thinks she can do. Jaret, the winner, is stuck in New York, living the good life... for a year. After that fabulous year, what will happen to him? Is he going to have to take his diamond and platinum cufflinks and go back to the trailer? Back to where he was? Or will he make the most of his time and emerge a truly changed person who will stay in Manhattan? I wouldn't want to win if I couldn't make it last. Baby steps up are good. Landing in Oz for a year and then being ripped out of it for 'home', well, that's another story.